Adore You, Leija

Leija's writing made me such a crybaby every time i read it. I won't comment anything, I feel you Leija, I feel you Salma..

I wish i can read this monologues in front of the audience...amiiin

Hijabis After Dark

Written by Leija

Edited by S. Ullah

All kinds of nocturnal activities that take place in dim-lit nightclubs can instantly become very awkward with a headscarf.   

Forget about rave clubs. Take this one jazz lounge I walked into with my husband.  All eyes were instantly on me. Maybe because 90% people there drink champagnes and vodka, and we ordered nothing but iced teas? Whatever it was, I made people uncomfortable, and I was made to leave.

Another time, my friend held this costume party at a hip, underground pub. I’ve always loved the idea of dressing up as crazy characters, but costume parties are somewhat rare in my town.  Naturally, I was excited for this party, and I was determined not to get kicked out of this club. 

…However, I was stumped in finding an original yet hijab-friendly costume that didn’t reveal I was a hijabi. I definitely didn’t want to show up without one and again be the oddball.

Then, I had an idea—I went as a “terrorist.”  I dressed in a solid, black burqa that covered everything except my eyes, carried a fake AK-47, and strapped fake bombs to myself. 

No one suspected I was a hijabi and it was a big hit!

Another hijabi friend of mine misses music lounges so much, she creates one at her house, complete with home sound system, dim-lighting and halaal drinks. We’d have grape juices and chat and sorta dance with each other. It’s fun and pathetic at the same time. 

And still another time, I was once on an assignment to cover an event at a popular nightclub. I used to work for a lifestyle magazine., and part of my job was to cover various happenings around town.

So there I was, standing in front of the club’s door, ready to enter.  Ready to do my job…

…when the bouncer stopped me.

“Sorry, miss. You can’t come in.”

“I’m covering this event for so-and-so magazine.”

I showed him my press card and my invitation. He still refused.

So I asked him why.

He said, “Well... you’re not following the dress code.”

I then looked up and saw next to the door a sign showing the nightclub’s dress code. It said, “No shorts, no flip-flops, and no weapons.”

That night, I definitely left my handgun at home. So I thought, Maybe it’s my jeans?

I told him, “Hey, if it’s my jeans, I saw a lot of people in them coming in and out just now!”

The bouncer replied in hesitation, “Well, it’s not the jeans…”

“Then what???” I shouted. The event was starting, and I was late.

“Well, miss, you DO know we serve alcohol inside...”

Then it hit me. My turban.

The irony was, prior to the event, I fully realized that a hijabi in a nightclub would seem weird to some. So that evening, I “revamped” my hijab. Instead of my usual long scarf, I wore a turban tightly wrapped around my head. At first glance, the turban seemed more like an accessory than a head cover. I was pretty sure people could hardly tell I was a hijabi,

And I’m pretty sure I looked fabulous.

But the bouncer could tell. He apparently knew hijabi fashion quite well and that turban style had gone vogue.  And apparently, even with my stylish turban, I was still the odd one in the sea of miniskirts. And so he persistently declined, although I was there for work and not breaking any law.

Unless you count fabulousness as a crime.

A Letter from the Future

Written by Leija

Edited by S. Ullah

If I can give a letter to my 19-years-old self, here’s what I’m going to write:

Dear teenage Salma,

Don’t trust that boy. Just don’t. I know he’s handsome, mysterious, irresistible, and makes you feel absolutely giddy from head to crotch. However, your first time having sex with him will not be as important to him as it is to you. Also, despite all of his smooth-talking, you two are not going to elope and live together forever as rock stars.

Dear teenage Salma,

Deciding to wear hijab is not going to make you feel better about losing your virginity. Maybe it will for a while, but the guilt will haunt you back if you don’t forgive yourself.

Also, your parents will find out. Don’t ask how.

Dear teenage Salma,

You have to realize our society is very judgmental. You will be expected to be an overall saint and recite the Quran like an award-winning qari’ah. Oh, speaking of which, everybody will assume you know ayahs and hadiths like the back of your hand but NOT the current Top 40 on the radio.

Also, there will be times when travelling to Western countries are such. A pain. In. The. Ass. Especially when going through immigration.

Dear teenage Salma,

Your friends will slightly change, too. They will give you supportive words, but be ready to be left out of a lot of fun, like that Metallica concert you’ve been waiting for forever.  Some friends will just automatically leave you out of the loop. You’ll also miss a lot of exciting bachelorette nights and hilarious dirty jokes. Sigh.

Dear teenage Salma,

At this point, you’re probably wondering about Alex, your gay best friend since 10th grade. Well, initially, he worries that you’ll be too holy for him and judgmental. Don’t worry though. After some time, Alex will see you for who you are and he’ll stick by your side.

Dear teenage Salma,

I’m not trying to break your spirit. I’ll just tell you this – making mistakes can make you a lot wiser and stronger.

Dear teenage Salma,

Don’t give up.  And tell this to myself, 10 years later. 

Credit : Leija